The Trump family is planning a golf course and luxury apartments next to the ripest and stinkiest garbage dump in Transylvania. (Trumps, on a Deal-Making Spree, Turn Next to Transylvania, New York Times, March 20, 2026).
Finally.
A handful of crooks who had fed on the corpse of the state after the “revolution” of 1989 are partnering with the Trumps to turn Dracula’s birthplace into a golf-course for olfactory-challenged billionaires. Dracula is a partner himself: he was the founder of the dump where he disposed of drained bodies after his parties. Over the centuries, this dump was layered with the enemies of communist and fascist states.
In 1990 the Secret Police archives that deconspired the crooks who seized power after the “collapse of communism” were incinerated to add a layer of ash to the cadavers. The smell of ashes and rotting corpses was then covered by broken and discarded items from the West, imported tchotchkes from the capitalist nirvana: sardine cans, expired Turkish cheeses, and unwashed T-shirts donated by American charities. From time to time, immortal Dracula himself, who lived in Moscow, rented the dump for his traditional disposal of bloodless bodies.
A Roma village next to the dump made a living scouring the toxic hill to extract and repair saleable items. The plan, according to the Times, is to “resettle” the Roma to make room for Trump palaces. The nazis “resettled” the Roma to concentration camps, but in our humane times, Gaza and Iran seem more appropriate.
Dracula’s body dump will join Trump’s “luxury tourism” projects “in Manhattan, Los Angeles, Honolulu,” and eventually, “Australia, Bali and the Maldives.” The Transylvanian site has even more to offer than those locales: it is next to a military base and is next door to Russia. Trump’s partners, the local crooks, some of whom did time in jail, are also part of the Russophile political party that will most likely win the next elections. The Russophiles employ nationalist-fascist rhetoric to serve Putin. (Just like Trump, who makes America Great by selling it to Putin!)
As Trump clubs are readying to add another layer to the garbage dump, our only (slim) hope is that cigars will not overcome the stink of human bodies. The Olfactory War has begun.
